“People come first, our employees come first, we have to make sure that people feel safe, that they are working from home and still adhering to the growth plans that we have, but feeling that they are protected and are listened to.” - Joan Landorf, Axis Promotions
When a newborn company called Apple was just learning to walk, a 33-year old marketing and finance pro named Mike Markkula sat down and penned their first marketing strategy. It was a simple 3-point plan, but one that would skyrocket the young tech company to unheard-of heights. It was 1977, and their plan would not only drive innovation and market dominance for years to come, but it was also profoundly human. Their first and primary point was not about positioning, or differentiation, or market dominance, it was centered on one simple word: empathy.
We will truly understand our customers’ needs better than any other company, wrote Markkula.
Starbucks founder Howard Schultz took the commodity of coffee, plus the banality of franchising, and created a unique experience, resulting in a story of unparalleled success. Reflecting back, he defined the one core tenet that led to Starbucks’ meteoric rise. It was neither a new model, nor a new type of coffee; it was a simple principal: “Starbucks coffee is exceptional, yes,” wrote Shultz, but emotional connection is our true value proposition … this is a subtle concept, often too subtle for many business people to replicate or cynics to appreciate.”
We often think that business leaders excel in essential skills like negotiating deals, securing financing, or engineering infrastructure (and they do this well, to be sure) but what the most successful leaders do better than anyone else is build a foundation of empathy -with customers, with employees, and with their supply chain- on a very deep level. It’s the hard work of interpersonal success. And it’s also so nuanced, that some hard-drivers have a hard time believing that something so tangential could factor as a 10x impact to one’s success.
But it has long been proven that EQ, emotional intelligence, is more important than IQ, and never before has emotional connection and empathy been more vital; they are the two essential ingredients required to successfully lead any team but most notably, a remote team.
And for many of us, we’re leading remote teams for the first time, which means we need to learn new ways to motivate, inspire, activate, and challenge our colleagues.
Prior to the at-home experience (for those who worked exclusively with teams in-person), we took it for granted how our always-present and always-available leadership availed us of opportunities to build social capital with each other throughout our workday, transferring our ideas and forwarding our mission. In fact, an in-person environment could have even allowed some of us to be passive leaders.
We don’t fully appreciate (or, perhaps now we are beginning to realize) how many tiny responses and communications comprised our in-person day -hallway collisions, brief chats about a problem, coffee moments- how those moments informed, inspired, corrected, or affirmed our team. Since we no longer have that luxury, it’s time for a different type of leadership, one that is a lean-forward style, compassionate yet committed, while even more vocally intentional and purposeful.
Since the phrase “emotional intelligence” has accumulated a lot of baggage, I’ll clarify: Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of your team, and generally includes three skills: emotional awareness (the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions and the emotions of others); the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same.*
Leading a remote workforce through an unprecedented time of struggle requires more emotional intelligence and empathy than ever before. Empathy and emotional intelligence is so crucial -particularly at this very vulnerable time- that we wanted to share tips on how an emotionally intelligent and empathetic leader can excel at leading a work-from-home team.
Is more present, which means being vocal on Slack channels, through text, visible via video calls, and available on the phone, more than ever before
Establishes regular check-ins with team members
Deeply empathizes with their employees’ and customers’ problems
Exudes confidence and positivity in the face of danger, and yet is honest about fear and uncertainty
Asks more questions (to employees and customers) than provides answers (because questions lead to understanding and understanding leads to solutions)
Celebrates the small wins because the small wins are big wins now
Measure success differently at this time (one person put it this way, “success will not be measured the same way it was when things were normal”)
Is more expressive with their gratitude, because now is a time when people need to be reminded of their value
Is humble enough to be open to questions and scrutiny
Gives specific guidance because attention to detail matters now more than ever
And yet, allows everyone to bring any idea to the table and play in the idea-sandbox (it’s a time for risk and failure and discovering untapped potential in each team member)
Is affirming, assuring, and calming as a default
Won’t resign to fatalism, but will use pessimism (from themselves and their team) as a light to discover new solutions
Gives praise often (and publicly) in order to nurture positive momentum
Doesn’t assume any employee or customer is “doing okay” (everyone is facing the same experience, but not everyone is experiencing it in the same way)
Overcommunicates, precisely because we are all more forgetful when struggling through the fog of uncertainty, and when isolated from others
Organizes team meetings frequently for the simple purpose of boosting morale
Makes space and time during meetings for non-work related dialogue, allowing time for the connection we crave in-person
Is patient with introspection, doubts, and anxieties
Reminds their team, frequently, of the mission and purpose they serve for their clients
Is aware that every tiny gesture of their facial responses (through zoom and hangout calls) communicates more than words
And if this feels like a big load to bear -after all, you’re human too!- and you’re exhausted just thinking of the weight of your responsibility now, there is a secret to making this easier.
In my storytelling class, we spend a lot of time talking about empathy. Particularly because the B2B world considers empathy an inferior pathway to success (say, over traits like “ambition” or “passion”). But now that we know EQ is more important to business success than IQ, it’s time we invested in learning how to be more emotionally intelligent.
In my session, I share that there are six primary emotions: love, joy, surprise, anger, sadness, and fear. But human beings are complex, and there are actually far more emotions than the simple six, there are secondary and tertiary emotions totaling over 140+ different emotions. And knowing these distinctions leads to clearer action. For example, is your customer “upset” (which can constitute a wide range of emotions) or is she “annoyed,” “frustrated,” or “exasperated?” Is that new work-at-home employee feeling “lonely,” “isolated,” or “alienated?” Big difference. If she’s lonely, that’s a problem for Tinder; if she’s alienated or isolated, that’s a problem that could likely be related to work.
Why do these distinctions matter? The concept is called “emotional granularity.” Rather than reducing the complexity of the human spirit and emotions to basic terms (i.e., angry or sad), oversimplifying their feelings, we must explore further by asking questions that reveal exactly how someone feels in any given situation. The more we know about their emotional condition, the faster we can arrive at a solution. (This concept, by the way, works beautifully with employees, clients, and virtually anyone else in your life!)
“Emotional granularity is key to emotional intelligence. If your brain can construct many different emotions automatically and make fine distinctions among them, it can tailor your emotions better to your situation. You’re also better equipped to anticipate and perceive emotion in others in the blink of an eye. The more emotions that you know, the more finely your brain can construct emotional meaning automatically from other people’s actions.” (From an article by Lisa Feldman Barrett, “Emotional Intelligence Needs a Rewrite,” a link is provided to her book below).
If this sounds overwhelming, just remember that questions open the pathway to understanding. Empathetic leaders don’t make assumptions about their employee who is new to work-at-home, juggling a newborn and adjusting to a new work environment, they ask questions. Empathetic leaders don’t assume that the single person, who has no parental responsibilities, isn’t overwhelmed emotionally because leaders don’t minimize the emotions of another by dismissing their feelings. Empathetic leaders don’t make assumptions that their client only has a revenue problem, and they don’t believe a customer when they simply respond, “things are fine!” Empathetic leaders ask a lot of questions because the very act of asking is the simplest form of caring.
None of this is to say that the emotionally intelligent leader is passive and parks their ambition. Some of the greatest leaders in history (Martin Luther King, an excellent example) held big visions, crafted ambitious plans, worked hard and never let up, but knew they needed to be empathetic and compassionate in order to accomplish big dreams, and could only do so working with and through others.
When I interviewed Joan Landorf of NYC-based Axis Promotions (and a very successful distributor) on the skucast, I asked her what she learned from her post 9-11 experience and how she changed as a leader. Joan replied:
“When things get the most chaotic that’s when it’s the most important to stay calm and level headed and really listen to people, talk to them, ask questions about how they are feeling and try to adapt. The same goes for our clients, checking in to make sure that we’re there to give them what they need and want and we’re keeping a strong united front to help in any way that we can. We still kept a sales approach and wanted to succeed, but post 9-11 the business became a nicer, kinder business ... I took leadership a lot more seriously. I started studying it more and figuring out how I could have a bigger impact as a leader as opposed to someone who was just growing a business. The biggest change -and I think that we’re living this now with the coronavirus- is that people come first, our employees come first, we have to make sure that people feel safe, that they are home working from home and still adhering to the growth plans that we have, but feeling that they are protected and are listened to, and I think it’s so important for me, as a leader to reach out on a regular basis, not just once a week or once a day, but touching base multiple times a day and then asking questions about how can we help reassure them. “
What are your tips on how to manage an at-home workforce? Share them with us on the socials @commonsku or email me, bobby(at)commonsku.com, we’d love to hear from you!
We spend a lot of energy reading the right books on market positioning and attending sales and growth seminars, and since there are few of these types of resources no EQ, we thought we would share a few suggestions on developing your emotional IQ:
The book that started it all, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ by Daniel Goleman
How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett
Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words by David Whyte
Podcast episode recommendation: Can You Really Bring Your Whole Self to Work (an excellent episode featuring Jerry Colonna an American venture capitalist and professional coach who played a prominent part in the early development of Silicon Valley, business partner of Fred Wilson through Flatiron Partners, one of the most successful investment programs in NYC).
*From an article in Psychology Today